Looking For My Johnny
As a 27 year old African Male, I find myself often engaged in the subject of marriage. I often find that my parents, uncles, aunts, female friends, and co-workers often ask me the same question: When will you get Married? I often respond to them with the same answer: Whenever I meet the Right One. One day as I began to meditate and converse with my family, I heard a voice say to me “When will you know if you find The One”?
Many individuals in the Christian community often believe that God has created on individual for him or her and often refer to that individual as a Soulmate. A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, friendship, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, or compatibility and trust.
In the past, I often wonder whether I’ve met my soulmate, whether it’s an ex girlfriend, or whether it’s a friend that is currently an integral part of my life. It wasn’t until I began to further study the Word that God gave me an understanding that there is no such thing as a Soulmate. If we take a look in the bible, there is no indication that God has predestined a particular individual for anyone to marry. Some religious leaders today believe that one shouldn’t date because it is possible for God to reveal one’s soulmate to us if we seek Him. Henceforth, let us revisit the bible in the beginning way back in the Old Testament.
As we all know, the first man and woman on earth was Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve then had children, but in order for the world’s population to continue, the family had to commit incest. After God killed the whole earth’s population with a flood except from Noah and his family, they also had to commit incest in order for the earth’s population to continue. In the Old Testament, it was the norm for Men and women to marry their cousins because parents knew that their child’s spouse will be coming from a good home. Nowadays, that type of relationship will be condemned and frowned upon, and a child that is produced from such a relationship runs the risk of having some sort of a deformity. The fact of the matter is things have changed all throughout time, so we can’t expect to do all things according to the way of the bible. There were no such things as cars and air planes in the bible, so does that mean that we should abandon those things today as well as continue to travel by donkeys and boats? God gives us wisdom and the spirit of discernment in all areas of life. This includes one’s career choice or the method in which a person finds his or her spouse. The term soulmate indicates that there is only one person that you are meant to marry, but it was also a norm for men to marry multiple women in the bible. Also, according to God’s law, it is not a sin for a person to remarry after his or her spouse dies. So, ask yourself this question: Why will God not make it a sin for us to get married again if his plan for us was to marry our “Soulmate” on our first marriage?
With the new understanding I have in God, I now realize that that there is no one way to find “The One”. The one could be anyone that you decide to spend the rest of your life with. The bible tells us that we should not be yoked with unbelievers. As long as we seek God’s face will seek for a spouse and seeking Godly counsel from trusted men or women of God, “The One” will be that Man or Woman that your spirit tells you to make that vow before God with. That special person can be anyone. Of course it is natural that you may feel a special chemistry with someone instantly as u meet them, but It is up to you and whoever you decide to enter into a union with to create that bond that will make you feel like you indeed married your “Soulmate”.
So, to all of those asking me when I will get married, I will no longer say to you all “Whenever I find The One”. From now on, I say to you all: Whenever I’m able to use enough wisdom and discernment to figure out which lovely young woman I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without. There are lots of Great options if I might add, So I may have to result to drawing a name out of a hat ~LOL~ Hope you guys enjoyed my babble; until next time.
- Oluwafemi OmoJesu Sanya