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Looking For My Johnny

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As a 27 year old African Male, I find myself often engaged in the subject of marriage. I often find that my parents, uncles, aunts, female friends, and co-workers often ask me the same question: When will you get Married? I often respond to them with the same answer: Whenever I meet the Right One. One day as I began to meditate and converse with my family, I heard a voice say to me “When will you know if you find The One”?

 

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Many individuals in the Christian community often believe that God has created on individual for him or her and often refer to that individual as a Soulmate. A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, friendship, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, or compatibility and trust.

 

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In the past, I often wonder whether I’ve met my soulmate, whether it’s an ex girlfriend, or whether it’s a friend that is currently an integral part of my life. It wasn’t until I began to further study the Word that God gave me an understanding that there is no such thing as a Soulmate. If we take a look in the bible, there is no indication that God has predestined a particular individual for anyone to marry. Some religious leaders today believe that one shouldn’t date because it is possible for God to reveal one’s soulmate to us if we seek Him. Henceforth, let us revisit the bible in the beginning way back in the Old Testament.

 

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As we all know, the first man and woman on earth was Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve then had children, but in order for the world’s population to continue, the family had to commit incest. After God killed the whole earth’s population with a flood except from Noah and his family, they also had to commit incest in order for the earth’s population to continue. In the Old Testament, it was the norm for Men and women to marry their cousins because parents knew that their child’s spouse will be coming from a good home. Nowadays, that type of relationship will be condemned and frowned upon, and a child that is produced from such a relationship runs the risk of having some sort of a deformity. The fact of the matter is things have changed all throughout time, so we can’t expect to do all things according to the way of the bible. There were no such things as cars and air planes in the bible, so does that mean that we should abandon those things today as well as continue to travel by donkeys and boats? God gives us wisdom and the spirit of discernment in all areas of life. This includes one’s career choice or the method in which a person finds his or her spouse. The term soulmate indicates that there is only one person that you are meant to marry, but it was also a norm for men to marry multiple women in the bible. Also, according to God’s law, it is not a sin for a person to remarry after his or her spouse dies. So, ask yourself this question: Why will God not make it a sin for us to get married again if his plan for us was to marry our “Soulmate” on our first marriage?

 

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With the new understanding I have in God, I now realize that that there is no one way to find “The One”. The one could be anyone that you decide to spend the rest of your life with. The bible tells us that we should not be yoked with unbelievers. As long as we seek God’s face will seek for a spouse and seeking Godly counsel from trusted men or women of God, “The One” will be that Man or Woman that your spirit tells you to make that vow before God with. That special person can be anyone. Of course it is natural that you may feel a special chemistry with someone instantly as u meet them, but It is up to you and whoever you decide to enter into a union with to create that bond that will make you feel like you indeed married your “Soulmate”.

 

So, to all of those asking me when I will get married, I will no longer say to you all “Whenever I find The One”. From now on, I say to you all: Whenever I’m able to use enough wisdom and discernment to figure out which lovely young woman I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without. There are lots of Great options if I might add, So I may have to result to drawing a name out of a hat ~LOL~ Hope you guys enjoyed my babble; until next time.

 

  • Oluwafemi OmoJesu Sanya

 

8 Comments

  • Maame Amponsah

    This is a great blog post. I truly appreciate your biblical basis of your perspective. I agree with your position that there isn’t truly “The One”. Our Society has created a misconception, especially for our generation.

    October 12, 2016 at 3:37 pm
  • CarOline

    “Name out of a Hat”. Lol musT Be nice with so many Options!!! Great Read 👍🏾

    October 12, 2016 at 4:07 pm
  • Faith Ayeni

    Love the blog post femolastic. The bibical outlook you put on it was very interesting to me. But i defInitely do agree with the fact that there is more than one person out there for you. it is just who you choose to spend the rest of your life with.
    GReat job with this post, looking forward To more!

    October 13, 2016 at 11:16 am
  • Jess

    Very interesting Derwin Davis! Good job with the blogpost. Something definitely to ponder!

    October 13, 2016 at 1:46 pm
  • Blessing

    I definitely agree with your “babble”. Looking at it from a Biblical standpoint, God knows what’s best for His children yet He also gives us choice (although He already knows us better than we know ourselves). My favorite analogy is of a child asking their father for cereal in the morning. There are many different types in the house (which have already been pre-screened and parent approved lol), but the child makes the ultimate decision of what they feel they like/want/need. It’s a Very simple example, but it portrays the message that there is not just ONE option for anything out there in life. Different paths that HE PREPARES will bring us to whatever final destination. All we need to do is “seek first the kingdom of God…” Great blog!

    October 13, 2016 at 3:38 pm
  • Joyful

    I do believe in soulmates however I also believe that our soulmate does not necessarily haVe to be our spouse ….. the term soulmate is so jaded so i use “Kindrer SpiRit” instead-
    In mark 10:8 it states that the two shall become one ….so in essence its ok for people to look for a partner who thEy can become one in christ with.

    October 15, 2016 at 2:37 am
  • DiDI

    FEMDIZZLE WITH ALL THE HUNNIES! {INSERT EMOJI EYES} LOL JK!

    I ENJOYED YOUR POST AND I AGREE THAT THERE IS MORE THAN ONE WAY TO FIND “THE ONE.” GOD GAVE US FREE WILL AND HE WILL NEVER FORCE US TO DO ANYTHING–HE LEARNED HIS LESSON WITH ADAM AND EVE.

    JUST TO CLARIFY, I DON’T THINK IT WAS GOD’S INTENTIONS FOR MEN TO HAVE MULTIPLE WIVES BUT AFTER THE FALL OF MAN…THE LINES GOT BLURRED. IF YOU LOOK AT SCRIPTURE, WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT MARRIAGE NOTHING IS PLURAL, EVERYTHING IS SINGULAR–A MAN, A WOMAN, A HUSBAND, A WIFE–THE TWO (NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS!)…IT’S PRETTY STRAIGHT FORWARD. THAT WAS THE OLD TESTAMENT WAY OF LIVING AND GOD WASN’T ROCKING WITH THAT SO HE SENT HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, JESUS AND WE OPERATE UNDER THE NEW TESTAMENT.

    ALTHOUGH THERE’S PLENTY OF OPTIONS TO PICK FROM, THIS AIN’T POKEMON–WE CAN’T CATCH THEM ALL LOL! AT THE END OF THE DAY, WE NEED TO BE INTENTIONAL AND INCLUDE GOD IN ALL ASPECTS INCLUDING LOVE. HE KNOWS THE HELPER OR THE RIB THAT WILL SUPPORT OUR PURPOSE. IF WE ARE NOT CAREFUL, WE CAN CHOOSE A PARTNER THAT WILL TAKE US OUT OF GOD’S WILL. LOVE IS A SPIRIT, AND GOD IS A SPIRIT, SO IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE TO SEEK GOD FOR GUIDANCE BECAUSE GOD IS LOVE…THE REAL QUESTION IS: ARE WE WILLING TO WAIT ON GOD?

    October 15, 2016 at 3:39 am
  • lynnsanity

    That’s a great breakdown. But leave it to me to play devils advocate because I’m a believer of the “fairy tale, happy ending” lol I think it’s absolutely possible that soulmates exist. Here’s why- just because you marry someone and say your “I do’s” till death do you part, that doesn’t necessarily make that person your true soul mate. In the moment, you might absolutely believe that person to be the ONE you’re supposed to marry and be with forever. But the notion that you present – about why wouldn’t God it deem it a sin for us to marry, divorce & remarry – could also be used to argue why people fall in love more than once in the same lifetime.
    In a perfect world, your argument might make sense. Because in a perfect world, you could argue that when people fall in love – then they think that they’ve found their soulmate. However, maybe that’s not actually the case. Maybe your soulmate is still out there and you’ve YET to find him or her. For example (speaking from experience), you can THINK you love someone and then when you grow apart and things don’t work out, maybe you realize you were wrong.
    The same can be said for thinking you’ve found your soulmate. Maybe you just made that ultimate step and married that person – however, you don’t realize how wrong you are until you divorce and move on. Hence why God didn’t make it a sin to divorce.
    I definitely love the biblical perspective on this idea. However, as a believer of both God and positive vibes, I choose to believe that soulmates are definitely true. And some people just need a little help (extra tries) to find them.

    October 15, 2016 at 11:16 pm

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